Jennerosity

You must have known that I had a good reason to stop blogging for the last couple of months, right? Hopefully I’ll be able to resume again now that life with our new baby is starting to settle down a bit.

First things first though, you’re probably looking for some of the details & vital statistics:¹

We welcomed a beautiful baby boy to our family on Sunday, September 11th at 9:36 pm. He weighed 8lbs 5oz and was 53cm long. He’s got lots of blonde hair and big blue eyes (at least for the time being).²

Things have been a little crazy since he arrived, hence the online silence. If you’ve got specific questions, or baby Geekness things you want me to blog about, let me know in the comments!

1. I’ll probably be doing a series of more detailed posts about things like the birth story, the screen name, etc [↩]
2. I won’t be posting pictures on the blog, so if you’d like to see some you need to email or leave a comment & I’ll send you a guest pass for his Flickr album. [↩]

Recently I tackled something that’s been surprisingly difficult for me to do. I made up ‘the plan’ as in the birth plan.¹ Or, as the teacher for our birth classes liked to call them, my birth wishes. Now don’t get me wrong, I have very clear ideas about what I want. You see, the big important things I can be decisive about. It’s just what to eat for dinner that seems to stump me daily.

Most of what went on the wish list doesn’t need to be shared here and I’ve no intention on sharing it with anyone unless they really want to know. However, there are some things about our plan & wish list for baby-geekling that will extend beyond the labour and delivery process and will somewhat affect our friends and family. And I figured that this is a good venue to share what some of those wishes are.

In the very beginning . . .

• The only person I want present during labour and delivery (excluding the trained medical staff) is Benevolance.
• If you want to be on the phone-list to be notified when things start happening, let us know so we can get your info to the important people. Keep in mind that I tend to be the phone list keeper of our household and will be unable to be making all those phone calls. However, my sister will have the phone update duties, so if you want to be notified, you’ll need to let me know so I can get your information to her.  You might also want to let us know what milestones you want to be notified about (ie. when we go to the hospital, when the baby is actually born, etc.) and if you only want to be notified during certain hours of the day.
• The only people we want visiting at the hospital are the baby-geekling’s grandparents.
• And, we don’t really want a lot of visitors during the first week or so either.² If you want to visit and meet baby ASAP, let one of us know and we’ll get in touch with you just as soon as we feel ready to handle company. Also, before you come over you MUST READ THIS ARTICLE!

1. Ok, and I did have a rough draft messily written out on paper stuffed in my purse over the weekend. You know, just in case things started happening while we were in Seattle at PAX. [↩]
2. Again, except for the grandparents. And yes, we do realize this might not be a very popular choice, but that’s ok. [↩]
3. In fact, we started a contest to see who could come up with the best screen name at my baby shower. We probably won’t pick the winner until baby is born, so if you want in on the potential of winning the $25 BC Liquor store gift card, get in touch. [↩]
4. We’ll definitely be sending out photos to people who want to see, but will be doing it in a secure & private manner. [↩]

Ok, so here’s a quick post to show you what we decided to do with the nursery. Originally, this was a book/music room that ended up being a dumping spot for a lot of our miscellaneous stuff. We did several purges before this, but you can still see a lot of stuff sitting around that we ended up cleaning out.

We were even storing the vacuum in this room, as evidenced by the vacuum hose hanger still attached to that wall. We also had/have a full-size bookcase full of books. Some of them are children’s books, but there were a lot of other books there that will need to find other homes sooner or later. Sadly, in the process of moving boxes of books out of the room, I ended up over-doing it a bit and have had a strained back for the past week.

My very talented mother wanted to do the nursery painting, and we mostly just stood back and let her do her thing after telling her the theme we wanted. Anyway, here’s how the nursery looks now (no furniture yet) . . .

We decided to go with a Ghibli theme using some of the characters from a few of the most ‘kid-friendly’ films. We figured it worked perfectly for us since it’s a kid-friendly version of our overall household theme incorporating Asian and Steampunk elements. Here are some more detailed closeup shots . . .

Here’s a link to the entire set of photos on Flickr.

General update to let those who are interested know what’s been going on . . .

• I continue to be amazed at how much research I’m apparently doing. I’m the only one in my childbirth class who’s read a book on parenting or anything yet.
• Unexpected bonus of pregnancy . . . my psoriasis is doing pretty well lately.
• Another small bonus is that my dentist will now stop asking me when I’m having babies . . . I guess that’s what happens when your dentist has known you since you were born.
• I think the baby has days & nights a bit backward. I’m not looking forward to having to correct this.
• Lots of activity but baby isn’t big enough or strong enough to make it terribly uncomfortable yet.
• I’ve also started getting emotional over stupid things . . . like my inability to find a nice dress to wear to the wedding at the end of June or trying to decide what kind of car seat we want.
• Have I mentioned baby brain yet? It sucks!
• Lots of my customers are now noticing and giving congratulations. This is usually a good thing. I’m still glad my desk is so big that it puts my belly out of easy arm distance though.
• The nursery is still a work in progress . . . haven’t yet put together our idea board and still need to remove a lot of stuff (hockey playoffs kind of interfere with this).

Benevolance and I have started taking child birth classes in anticipation of Baby Geek’s arrival this fall. We’ve only had a couple so far, but they are going pretty well. Just a few random thoughts and observances so far . . .

• I’ve already read a lot of the info
• I’m the only one due in September, everyone else is July/August
• I’m glad we signed up early so we have more time to practice & prepare
• Surprisingly few mommies had heard of kegels before¹
• No corny visualizations in class – thank goodness!
• The teacher is very understanding of our need to know the Canucks score during class
• Hasn’t changed my mind about any of the birth decisions I’ve made so far
• Benevolance made the other daddies look bad when he started automatically massaging me last class during comfort measure demonstrations²
• It’s important to actually try the different comfort positions in the book because they can surprise you with how good they feel!
• We’re supposed to be reading to the baby already . . . hope it likes romance novels!
• I change my sitting position more than the other mommies do in class . . . maybe they just aren’t stuck sitting at a desk all day?
• I’m definitely going to start using an exercise ball as an office chair at work!!!

Four more classes to go and then we’ll be done. Plus a possible reunion class after babies are born??? Not sure if we’ll attend since I haven’t had any major bonding moments with any of the other mommies there so far. I think it helps that I’ve already got a fabulous network of friends and family around me!

1. and Benevolance was the only guy to know about them! [↩]
2. yeah, I’m totally spoiled that way [↩]

I finally finished filling out an application for leave at work today.¹ It took three tries because I changed my mind about when I wanted to begin my leave and my doctor also changed my due date (September 15th) and it’s rather confusing about what you are entitled to take, and how long benefits are payable for.  Plus, I have no idea how much time I’ll need/want. It really isn’t anything that you can predict. Some people enjoy the return to work outside the home and some of them decide after a year that parenting is really what is most fulfilling for them and don’t go back at all. Won’t know until I get to that point myself.

It was also a difficult decision because I’m terribly indecisive. And leaving work is a charged issue. Work gives me a measure of independence and a feeling of equality with my partner, since we are both able to contribute financially. It also gives me a sense of validation that I’m able to fulfill certain responsibilities. It’s also totally what I’m used to. As much as my job frustrates me, I’ve been working in some form or another since I was in high school. Ever since I graduated University I’ve had some form of ‘full-time’² employment. It feels a little odd to be taking off a year.

And a part of me is also concerned about returning to work after that much time off. My industry is constantly updating and changing and it’s sometimes a challenge to keep up. I worry about how quickly I’ll be able to get back up to speed. Since it’s a family business I know that I’ll still have access to a lot of the updates and changes during my time off. But will I be interested/able to absorb the info?

I know that this is a common set of issues for women who have kids. And I’m feeling good about my decision about how much leave time to take, so I don’t really need any reassurances. Hence, turning off comments. If you REALLY feel the need to connect with me about the issues, then tweet at me or send me an email about it.

I still have a few decisions left to make about that year-long absence from work. Do I offer to help out with tax returns part-time during the tax season next year? What about the company website that only I know how to update? I like to be helpful and getting a little bit of extra money during the year certainly wouldn’t be a bad thing. But, will I still feel like doing those things when I have a tiny new baby to look after? No clue.

1. Almost . . . I still have to sign it, date it, and then put it on my bosses desk. [↩]
2. I put it in quotes because full-time did not always equal 40 hours per week [↩]

I’ve wrapped up my last reading challenge and my next one is already well underway. My second quarter reading is influenced by two events. The first one was announcing I was pregnant. The second one was a trip to Mexico to crash our friends’ wedding¹. Out of these two events I decided to do an “R&R Reading Challenge.”

The first ‘R’ = Research

Since I could tell people I was pregnant, I could now also ask them for recommended reading material to help prepare for baby and parenthood (and feel free to recommend any books down in the comments). A few mom’s that I know also had books that they were finished with, which they were willing to give me. So now I’ve got a pretty good stack of books that I’m working my way through. A lot of the material repeats, but that just means I skim through the books pretty quickly.

The second ‘R’ = Romance

After a semester of school reading, I was so ready for a break. And what better books to bring to Mexico that some light and fluffy romance novels? I read 7 during the one week holiday and am finding them a pretty good balance for the non-fiction baby/mothering material. (And again, if you have recommendations, feel free to leave them in the comments). The nice thing about romance novels is that they often don’t require much deep thought to get through the plot, so I read through them pretty quickly.

Got reading recommendations? I’d love to see them in the comments! I’ll be reading as many books as I can in this challenge until the end of June before I switch to my next challenge. Look for the current reading challenge widget in the sidebar to see which books I’ve already tackled so far in this challenge.

1. how many people can boast to have crashed a wedding and/or that they had their wedding crashed? [↩]

I’m halfway there. I know that this has been the easy half. Even with a couple of months of nausea and not being able to enjoy adult beverages, the second half is going to be the part that tries my patience and pain threshold. And even when the pregnancy ends, that’s really only the beginning of the journey.

But even though I’m half way, I still don’t really feel fully ‘pregnant’ yet. I’ve seen pictures of the baby and I know it’s in there. I’ve felt it kick and move around already and it’s effects on my body are becoming apparent as I’ve outgrown almost all my old clothes¹

Despite the changes, I still just feel fat and not pregnant. I guess that’s normal? The hardest part of this is the mental struggle. Living in a society that values the thin and beautiful it’s difficult to reconcile feeling ok about gaining weight. I was over my personal weight goal when I got pregnant and was mentally struggling a bit then. Now the idea that gaining weight is good² is hard to reconcile after 30 years of the opposite message. Oh, and it doesn’t help that my belly has a weird rounded cube shape to it, instead of being nicely curved the way a pregnant one *should* look.³

One of the weird things I noticed Wednesday at the doctor’s office as they weighed me is that I’ve been heavier. When I was at my heaviest I was still 7 or 8 pounds more than I currently weigh in at. Realizing this actually made me feel better about myself. First, it helped ease the fear that I won’t be able to get back to where I used to be. I did it once, so I should be able to work my way back there again. I’m also now looking forward to when/if I surpass my heaviest weight.

Yes, this is weird so let me explain a bit of the way my brain is working.

Part of what is making me feel just fat is that I’m worrying that people can’t tell I’m pregnant⁴. I’m worried people are still just assuming I’m overweight and ‘letting myself go’.⁵ My brain is reasoning that once I gain enough weight to be heavier, then I’ll finally look completely pregnant.

Weird? Yes.

Logical? No.⁶

Before I end this post . . .  a couple of quick disclaimers . . .

1. My weight gain is totally and completely normal and not a medical cause for concern in any way
2. I’m not looking for sympathy or for people leaving comments that say “you totally look pregnant to me.” In fact, I’m going to just turn comments off. Because really, sharing this post is what’s beneficial and I don’t really need feedback on it.

1. Thanks to the miracle of the belly belt though, I’m back to wearing my old pants & loafers to work. [↩]
2. the staff at my family doctor’s office literally cheered and clapped for the first five pounds I put on [↩]
3. Perhaps eyes don’t go square from too much screen time but bellies do? [↩]
4. which I’m told is a completely unfounded fear [↩]
5. This is part of why I’m glad to wear actual maternity clothing; it does help distinguish you as a pregnant person instead of a person wearing larger clothing. [↩]
6. If you’re expecting logic here, you’ve clicked to the wrong place my friend. [↩]

For those uninitiated in the world of pregnancy, a push gift is a gift that the father of the baby gives to the mother when she gives birth to their child.  According to the wikipedia article about push presents, the tradition goes back quite a ways, but has gotten quite a bad rap recently as a lot of jewelery stores exploit the tradition in order to sell expecting father’s fancy baubles to dangle in front of their wives eyes as they grunt and sweat through the rigours of labour¹.

As my jewelery tastes are rather simple and I knew it was highly unlikely that my husband would ever buy me jewelery, I never expected that I’d be offered a push gift. The idea of it never appealed to me and I hadn’t brought it up at all. Which is why when Benevolance sent me a chat message offering a push gift, I nearly fell out of my chair.  However, after some further elaboration I discovered that my husband was not actually suffering from temporary insanity or been replaced by body-snatching aliens.

You see, the push gift he offered me wasn’t a ring or necklace.  No, what he offered me was airfare to a destination of my choice and then an appropriate souvenir (also of my choosing, but only one, because it isn’t like we’re having twins). Since we both love to travel, the gift is really for both of us.  It’ll be the first vacation we take with baby along. The only downside is that making decisions is one of my weak spots.

So friends and family, let’s hear some of your vacation ideas in the comments!

P.S. If you want to keep up with my blog, don’t forget that you can subscribe with the RSS feed or sign up to get emailed whenever I post.  If you are only interested in the baby stuff, I’ve got a separate feed for only those posts, just let me know and I’ll send you the info or put it on the blog.

1. Gee, do I sound a little jaded and biased? [↩]

When I decided I would start sharing our baby geekness stuff on my blog, I immediately thought that I would set aside a section to answer all those questions that I would get asked over and over again.  I asked for people to submit questions on my intro post and will add others that pop up as necessary.

Do you want a boy or girl?
Don’t really care either way. I’ve seen and heard how each could be challenging and wonderful in their own way. Regardless of whether we have a boy or girl I’m sure a healthy dose of dress-up and street hockey are in their future.

Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or girl?
I’ve been asked several variations of this question for a while now. As it stands right now, we’re happy being surprised. Which works out well since the area we live in doesn’t routinely tell expecting parents the sex of the baby.

What will you do if the baby (Phil) isn’t a geek? What if they turn out to like sports and celebrity gossip? What if they don’t like to read?????
I’m sure we will hang our heads in shame and always wonder what we did wrong! I don’t so much care if they turn out to like sports. I like a lot of sports, so a sporty-kid would be ok. I can’t imagine raising a non-reader though. Fingers crossed this doesn’t become a reality!

Do you have any pregnancy-related cravings?
No. So far I haven’t had any sudden urges to ingest strange food combinations. My cravings are all pretty much the same ones I had before I got knocked up.

Have you decided on a birth plan (i.e. natural childbirth, a home birth, etc?)
I am starting to consider some different options. Already have decided to give birth at Surrey Memorial Hospital, but the other facets of the birth plan I’ll want more time to consider. Hopefully I’ll remember to update these things as events warrant!

Are you going to continue the tradition (is a tradition? I’m not sure actually) of giving your baby the middle name of one of its grandparents?
I’d certainly like to make it in to a tradition! But, until the birth certificate is done up, no decisions are really final. We’ve started thinking about names, but have 30 days after kiddo arrives before we need to commit to anything . . . if you’ve seen how long it takes us to decide on our dinner plans, you’ll know that we’ll probably need all the time we can get!

Have you had any morning sickness?
I was very, very, very nauseous during my first trimester. And the sick bastard who decided to give it the misnomer ‘morning’ sickness ought to be shot. It was all day sickness. Thankfully with very little vomiting, but plenty of nausea. Is that too much information yet?

What about NaNoWriMo?
Unfortunately since the bulk of the planning phase as a Municipal Liaison for National Novel Writing Month is going to coincide with the bulk of the planning & preparation phase for the baby’s birth, I’m just not going to have time to make the same commitments that I have in the past. This doesn’t mean that I’ll disappear during November, but my participation in the event will probably be limited to cheerleading the VancoWriMo crowd instead of planning and writing.

If you have a boy, will you have him circumcised?
Luckily both Benevolance and I are in total agreement that circumcision isn’t a procedure we wanted our baby to undergo. It isn’t considered a medical necessity and since we have no religious beliefs that would influence the decision, we figure that it isn’t something we will go out of our way to do.

Got more questions? Feel free to add more in the comments!