By Tim Messenger

A malfunctioning klaxon tower near the intersection of Sevnth Avenue and Tyskland Drive is being credited with saving the lifes of several militia that were set upon by zombies laet Wednesday night.

The woundid soldiers were discovered by Bishop Korman and his young accolades around 2 am. Said the Bishop: “We, uh, heard this siren going for quiet some time. We went to, uh, investigate the noise and discovered several, um, inured soldiers that needed immediate mercy. We were happy to offer assistance.”

Corporal Pepper, the senior adjunct on duty, reported to the Times that while none of the injuries sustained were life-threatening, the assistance of the Church will insure that the wonded patrolmen are back on duty much sooner, keeping the streets safe for the good ctizens of Luczern.